I'm going to make this first post on November a mixed posts so yeah

I'm finally coming back to seat managing my blog here. I really miss doing this thing. I almost forgot that I owned this awesome blog :D lol jk
I think my blog started to be taking so much time to load, or else it's caused by the infrequency of me opening the site. I'm not gonna leave it over so I decide to fix some parts in my blog such as links (I changed my Instagram username to _iammy), background songs, inactive image sources, etc. Ah yes and the most frustrating thing is to have my cbox full of ads! Dammit  Like seriously the number of the ads is increasing day by day. It can be up to 5 ads a day!
Then I finally deleted and banned the IP address of the ads, but... I just realized the ads number is too much that it "ate up" my blog friends' older messages. Just UGH.

Anyway I kind regretted not posting something for Halloween OTL. Actually Halloween isn't one of the important days in my country, but it's just fun. I could have joined my friends making costumes for Helloween and scaring the shit out of people haha. Was I too busy? Ah no, I was just being a "later-girl", I mean a girl who always says "Later" when she knows something needs to be done and blah. Lol I bet some of you don't get what I mean u.u *sorry for being random*

I got some things on my mind right now. First, the semester exams. It'll be on November 25. I know it's still a few weeks later tho. But I'm not a live-my-life type which means I can actually be 'happy' and 'free' before the deadlines and be 'prepared' when the day is coming. Something can stress me out eventhough I know it'll happen a year later. For example, the national exams. I don't know, sometimes I feel something in my stomach when I remember the things that kinda make me feel nervous, when I inevitably need to go through things I don't want. Gahh, I think I really need to be advised ASAP. I mean, I won't be able to fully enjoy my life and every pain in it if I always overthink things, right? I really wish I could be a don't-give-a-damn person.

Second, I'm still in a dilemma between attending or not attending my friend's Sweet17 party. Do you want to know the reason? It's all about the dress code. Dafuq.. You might not believe it but I don't have any dresses in my wardrobe, precisely black/white. I'm not a type that loves dresses, skirts, or shorts. I'd much rather wear pants and t-shirt. Hmm, it could be because I feel more comfortable to wear stuffs that don't show much of my skin or I don't have confidence to wear what I really want to wear (for examples shorts/mini skirt) because I'm fat and I could admit my fashion sense is incredible. Tehehehe I'm fat you know. I'm serious, I don't have thighs gap and I fucking hate my fat thighs and arms   hm I shouldn't have been full of self-pity but that's OK. I don't want to make them to burden me that much. Hahaha but the reality is I'm too stressed because of them. Sigh. Talking about this can be so long!!

Kay back to the main prob! So yeah I just feel pity for myself for being a girl who owns no dress in her wardrobe. Even one. My mom has only 2-3 pieces but not black/white. And you know buying a new dress is just so difficult for me. My parents won't allow me hahaha *teary laugh* Just like other kids who get anything they want, no dude I'm not like dem. My friend constantly suggested me to just ask my parents to buy me this time, ONCE, but still I don't think having party dresscode as my reason behind can make them want to buy me a new dress.
If I don't attend the party because of the dresscode demand that I can't comply.... what a shame! However, attending a friend's birthday party is to join the happiness and meet many people. So why stressing about dresscode?
Yet I don't want to be the only girl in the party who dresses out of context(?) I'm already shameful there to have myself walking awkwardly in a crowd. Yes I'm not a party whore and I fucking hate parties  hehe yes I'm an introvert.

On the second thought, a great idea came from my mom when I was asking her about what to do with the dresscode demand. She said I could just rent a party dress from dress rentals nearby. OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH MOM. This is really a brilliant idea. So then I browsed the internet to find a dress rental nearby. I got one in Tangerang and I'm very happy. At least, I can still attend my friend's sweet17 party. Problem solved!

Labels: Daily Life, Family, Friends, Plans, School